


Mascara

by anneryn7



Category: Teen Wolf (TV), The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Abusive Stefan Salvatore, Alternate Universe - Human, Anxiety Disorder, Asshole Stefan, Awkwardness, BAMF Damon Salvatore, Berek, Clubbing, Dating, F/M, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Love Confessions, Male-Female Friendship, Mild Smut, Oral Sex, Past Abuse, Possessive Behavior, Protective Damon Salvatore, Protective Derek, Protective Katherine Pierce, Rape Recovery, Recovery, Song Lyrics, Strong Female Characters, Teacher Bonnie, Triggers, Vaginal Sex, friends are family, learning to love again, learning to love yourself, strong Bonnie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 10:40:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20241505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anneryn7/pseuds/anneryn7
Summary: All human AU. Bonnie meets Derek, while she's out with her friends one night. She's haunted by her past abusive relationship with Stefan. She doesn't know if she'll ever be able to love again, but Derek makes her want to try.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I DO NOT OWN TEEN WOLF, THE VAMPIRE DIARIES, OR THE CHARACTERS.  
Song Suggestion/Music Credit: "Mascara" – Niykee Heaton
> 
> **Trigger Warnings**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey all, I wrote this in the same fashion as I'll be There for You. This has been months in the making. I waited until it was entirely finished, before breaking it up into chapters. I'll post one chapter a week, until it's finished. I hope you enjoy it. I'm really proud of this one. Berek holds a special place in my heart.

Chapter One:

* * *

"Gotdamn. How did I get so lucky? Her legs go for miles in that dress." I can hear his voice from here. Anyone else who could hear Stefan would think that he was a smitten boyfriend paying me a compliment. In reality, though, he was trying to show me off, because I wasn't his partner. I was his possession.

"And you love to rub it in, don't you, brother?" Damon asked, as he took a sip of bourbon. Damon was one of my best friends and he knew how uncomfortable Stefan's comments made me.

"Can you really blame me? She's the most gorgeous woman here." Stefan shrugged with a smirk. I looked over at him and I could feel the heat from his gaze. He was horny. We'd be having sex tonight, whether I wanted to or not. If I refuse, he'll just remind me that he could be screwing someone else, instead. That's often the case.

"No one is disagreeing with you, Stefan. You know Bonnie hates it, when you parade her around like she's a trophy." Damon argued. Pride and resentment flowed through me in equal measure. He was right, without a doubt, but I'll be paying for his comments later. I'm sure of it.

"I think I know my girlfriend a little better than you do, Damon. Don't worry. I don't blame you for being jealous. Her sweet cunt has me pussy-whipped." Stefan finished his drink and walked over to me.

I wanted to die. He's been drinking and that makes him unpredictable. Damon was only trying to help, but really, he only succeeded in making things worse.

I stiffened as Stefan's hand slid around my waist and fell lower, until he was cupping my ass. I hate this. I hate feeling like this. Most of all, despite how much I care, _**I hate him**_.

"You're wearing my favorite color." He purred, as he brought his lips to mine. His mouth was forceful and demanding. It was just another way for him to prove that he was in control.

I was wearing a short cocktail dress that was blood red. That's why he likes it. Stefan has an unnerving obsession with blood. The scars that litter my body were testament enough of his love of bloodplay. It didn't matter that I hated it, because he loved it. I didn't have a choice in the matter. I never did. Things were just less painful, when I laid there and took it.

"Not now, Stefan… Not here." I told him, breaking the kiss. His eyes grew cold and he gave me a deadly smirk, daring me to defy him.

"Are you sure you want to deny me? Why don't you be a good girl and rethink your words?" He hissed. My nerves were shot. I didn't know how much more I could take. I just want this to end.

"Not here," I repeated. He gripped my chin between his fingers, as he lost his temper.

"Let's go to the bathroom. You can apologize there. You better be on your knees the second I lock the door, or you're going to be in a world of pain." He snarled in a low voice.

"Stefan, what the fuck?! Have you been hurting her? Bonnie, has he been putting his hands on you?!" Damon demanded, struggling to keep his voice down. Tears fell down my face, as I shook in Stefan's grip. His eyes were dangerous.

"Yes," I whispered. Damon pulled me from Stefan and into his arms. He was livid. I could feel the fury radiating off from him. "Stefan, we're done. Leave me alone. It's out now. I can't do it anymore. I would rather die, than keep going through this."

"That can be arranged." He hissed, cruelly.

"I'm calling the cops, brother. You're not touching her again." Damon swore.

* * *

'_Never been with someone I can't live without._  
_Lately, when it comes around,_  
_They let me down.  
__Don't let me down.'_

* * *

The rest of the night was a blur. I answered a lot of questions for Liz. Damon talked me into pressing charges. He helped me pack my things from my apartment with Stefan and insisted that I moved into the boarding house with him.

We changed the locks after that. I stayed in Damon's room most nights. I hated being alone.

Stefan posted bail, but I had a restraining order. He fled town and I never heard from him again.

I was working on rebuilding my friendships. I was close with Damon and his girlfriend, Katherine. She was surprisingly great with everything.

She moved in, before too long, swearing that I was like a sister to her. Much like Damon claimed I was to him. Just existing was easier. I was still leery and jumpy, but I was making progress.

I made an effort to see Matt, Caroline, and Jeremy regularly. Elena moved away with Elijah, shortly after Stefan and I got together. I regret how much my relationship with him hurt my friendships. But I was working on getting them back.

* * *

"Bonnie, don't take this the wrong way, but have you thought about dating at all? You're seriously a knockout and such a sweetheart. Guys eat that shit up. You're a catch. Anyone would be lucky to have you." Katherine asked me. I made a face, as I shook my head.

"I'm not ready. Just the thought of someone I don't know trying to hold my hand makes me want to vomit." I admitted.

"Stop pushing her. She'll know when she's ready." Damon told his well-meaning girlfriend.

"It's been two years, Bon. Maybe she's right? It couldn't hurt for you to at least try and see what's out there… Why don't I set you up? That way it'll be with someone trustworthy." Caroline offered. I sighed, knowing that I would probably get outvoted. I really don't want to do this.

* * *

I sat nervously at the coffee shop. I was in leggings and a tee shirt. It wasn't anything fancy. I had minimal makeup on and wished that I had just stayed home.

"Bonnie, right? Sorry I'm late. Work is shorthanded right now." He apologized with an adorable grin. He was cute, in an eager puppy kind of way. "I'm Scott." He introduced himself, as he sat down.

"Hey Scott, it's nice to meet you. Don't worry about it. What is it that you do?" I asked him. He perked up at my question.

"I'm a vet. I love animals." He replied with a lopsided smile. I gave him a tentative smile in return.

"That's amazing." I told him.

"What about you?" He pried. I bit my lip, before answering him.

"I teach Kindergarten." I admitted. Children, I could handle. Children, I understood. They're so full of wonder, love, and goodness. I can't imagine doing anything else. The hardest part about ending things with Stefan was taking time off to heal. I missed my littles so much.

"Oh, no way! That's awesome!" He gushed with a dimpled smile. It was impossible not to smile with him.

"I enjoy it a lot. I'm sure it's similar to your career in that aspect. We're both caregivers." I added. He nodded in agreement. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad, after all.

* * *

We ordered coffee, well, in my case, tea. After the ice breaker, our conversation flowed easily. I knew that I probably wouldn't end up dating Scott, but it felt like I made a friend.

"We should do this again. I enjoy talking to you. You don't make me feel dumb in our conversations. I know I'm not the brightest bulb in the shed." Scott suggested, as he walked me out. I hesitated and turned to face him.

"I would really like that, actually. Caroline tells me that I don't get out enough. You're definitely not dumb, Scott. If people make you feel like that, then they aren't worth your time. You seem very kind and sincere. Would you want to hang out as friends? Truthfully, I'm not ready for more than that." I gave him my spiel.

He reached over and let his hand hover over mine. I'm guessing that Caroline told him that I don't like to be touched. I gently grabbed his hand. His smiled brightened, as he began to speak to me.

"Totally. I'd love to be your friend, Bonnie. You're honest and thoughtful. And it's obvious you're a super caring person. You wanna trade numbers and we can set something up soon?"

* * *

I was eating pizza with Caroline, Matt, and Jeremy, as I recapped what happened on the coffee date. Caroline had been texting Scott and getting his perspective, too.

He thought I was nice, smart, and super cute. He thanked Care for introducing us, because he had a feeling we would be good friends.

All in all, I was counting it as a success.

* * *

"Hey, you free tonight?" Damon asked me, knocking on my open bedroom door. I nodded, as I put the last grade on my stack of papers.

"What did you have in mind, old man?" I asked him, knowing my little jab would drive him crazy.

"'Old man?' I'm five years older than you. Watch your mouth." He scoffed. I just laughed. "'Ric and Jenna want to go dancing, but Katherine is out of town, visiting her annoying cousin, Elena. Be my partner in crime? Don't make me shimmy all by myself."

"Where are we going?" I asked, agreeing to go. His smirk widened into a grin.

"Wear something that you feel hot in. We're going to The Jungle." He replied, before leaving me to get ready. Well, shit. I really wish Kat was here. Maybe I should consult Caroline.

* * *

A quick phone call later and Caroline was going through my closet, pulling out clothes I haven't worn since Stefan. She picked out black high-waisted shorts that are a little too short for comfort, but showed off more than enough leg. She paired it with a black short-sleeved crop top. She fussed until I changed into it. It was out of my comfort-zone, but I knew I looked good in it. It showed off the tattoos covering my thighs, sternum, and collarbone that were normally hidden. I used them to cover most of the scars that Stefan left behind.

I had on black booties, because Caroline turns into a bully, when it comes to attire. I had smoky eyes and a nude lip, but even I could admit that I looked good. She teased my hair, until it was wavy and tousled.

"Damn Bonnie," Damon whistled, when we came downstairs. "I'm gonna be cock-blocking guys all night." He teased. I just rolled my eyes and grabbed a small purse. "Your efforts are appreciated, Caroline. Thanks, Barbie." Damon offered his gratitude and Caroline grabbed her things to leave.

"Anytime. Have fun! I have a hot date with Matt, but I expect you to text me all the details later." She sang, as she left.

"Ready, Judgy?" Damon asked me. I shook my head.

"No, but let's go anyway."

* * *

I held Damon's hand as we walked into the club. The music was loud and the energy was off-putting. I wish that I had stayed home.

Damon brought his lips to my ear, as we stopped in front of the bar. I paused and turned my head closer to his.

"I know you're out of your element, but try to relax. I won't let anything happen to you. I'll be glued to your side all evening. I promise." Damon tried to reassure me. I gave him a weak nod. "You want a shot?" He offered.

"Yes. Then let's find 'Ric and Jenna."

* * *

I felt less tightly wound with alcohol pulsing through my body. It's amazing what a little liquid courage could do.

I still had Damon's hand, as he chatted with 'Ric and Jenna. I couldn't focus on what they were saying. I still felt unbearably anxious.

"Bonnie! Hey! I almost asked you if you wanted to come out with us tonight, but it didn't seem like your scene." Scott said, walking over to us. I gave him a bright smile and let go of Damon's hand to hug him. Damon stopped talking and watched us, skeptically, as Scott's arms went around me.

"It's really not. I was basically dragged out. Clubs make me anxious. This is Damon, he's basically my older brother." I stepped back to introduce them. Damon gave him a smile that was all teeth.

"Her older, _**protective**_ brother," he clarified.

"This is Scott. He's the friend I met through Caroline." I explained. Damon's expression softened.

"Do you wanna come dance? I can introduce you to everyone." Scott asked. I looked over at Damon, questioningly.

"Let's go dance with your friend, Bon. I've been dying to get 'Ric on that dancefloor, since we got here." Jenna exclaimed, deciding for him. Scott put his arm around me and I let him lead us through the club. He hugged me to his side, as we stopped in front of a small group of people chatting and laughing.

"Hey guys, this is Bonnie. The girl I told you about. And these are her friends." Scott told them.

"I'm Damon, her older brother, and this is Jenna and 'Ric." Damon introduced them with his signature smirk.

"So you're Scotty's new friend, huh? It's okay if he's not your type. He's a little too adorable puppy for some people." Some guy teased. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Rude much? Who the fuck are you?" I snapped. The alcohol obviously loosened my tongue considerably. The mystery guy's grin fell and he looked apologetic.

"I'm Stiles, his best friend. He knows I don't mean it like that. My bad." Stiles apologized. I knew that he was still on the receiving end of my RBF (resting bitch face), but I didn't care.

"Stiles talks before he thinks. It's a regular occurrence for him." A pretty redhead disclosed. Stiles gaped at her Scott laughed.

"He's harmless. Thanks for defending me, though. Let me introduce you to everyone. That's Lydia. The grumpy one standing behind her is Derek. Beside him is his sister, Cora and his uncle, Peter. The one wearing a scarf in the middle of May is Isaac. And Lydia's friend, Allison, might be coming later." Scott made the introductions. I gave a small wave.

"Is she _**just**_ Lydia's friend?" Derek teased him. Scott blushed and I got the feeling that he was probably crushing on her. I thought it was adorable.

"You have a crush on her?" I asked Scott in a whisper. Derek laughed, since he was close enough to hear me. Scott gave me a stiff nod.

"Let's dance, BonBon." Damon grabbed my hand and pulled me closer to the dancefloor. Scott followed suit, since he still had an arm around me. My eyes flitted over to Derek. He was tall and delicious. He made me wanna salivate. He seemed to be following us all to the dancefloor.

He was tall, taller than Damon. And his Henley hugged him in all the right places. He had a short, well-groomed beard and piercing eyes. I wanted him and that scared me. I can't remember the last time I was attracted to somebody like this.

Damon ran his hands along my sides and started dancing behind me. Scott was to my front. Jenna was dancing beside me with Alaric. Lydia was on my other side dancing with Derek. Scott took my hand and spun me. Damon looked amused and shot me a smirk as he started to dance with Cora. I was left dancing between Scott and Derek.

Scott turned his attention to a pretty brunette that I suspected was Allison. I couldn't stop my smile. They were so adorable together.

Derek leaned closer to me and his breath tickled my ear. I shivered and tried to not think about how good he smelled or about the face that I could smell him from here.

"Do you want to dance?" His voice was low and husky and I struggled to answer him, because it was affecting me so much.

"Yes," I rasped. He gave me a ghost of a smile, before gently placing his hands on my hips. I took a deep breath and tried to reassure myself that this was okay. He wasn't Stefan. He's too gentle to be Stefan. Maybe that's why it's so unnerving.

I turned and saw Damon looking our way, silently asking me if I was okay. I gave him a nod. He gave me one in return. I can do this. I won't be damaged good forever.

* * *

I lost track of how long Derek and I danced. It got easier and easier to move with him. After a while, I just feel free. His hand was on the small of my back and my hand was against his chest, as we danced. I wasn't shying away from his touch.

As the song ended, he took my hand and led me to the bar. I ordered a water and a vodka soda. Derek got a water and a beer.

"You can really move out there." Derek complimented me, as we waited for our drinks. I blushed, suddenly bashful.

"Thank you. So can you." I replied. He gave me an easy smile.

"I don't dance often, but I enjoy it, when I have a good partner." He admitted. I bit my lip and took a sip of my drink. "Scott said that you're a teacher?"

"Kindergarten," I confirmed with a nod. "How about you?"

"I run my own construction company."

"That sounds exciting. What got you into that?" I asked him, finishing my drink.

"I enjoy building things. When I was younger, I –"

"Bonnie! I thought that was you. And I saw Damon dancing over there, too. How are you?! I haven't seen you in ages. Is Stefan around?" Lexi asked as she clapped a hand on my shoulder.

I jumped and dropped my glass. My untouched water spilled across the bar. The combination of being grabbed and Stefan's name was too much. My jaw dropped and I silently willed myself not to have a breakdown.

"Don't touch me. I don't like being touched." The words flew out of my mouth, before I could fully comprehend what I was saying. I glanced up and saw that Derek's gaze hardened. He was staring her down.

"Oh, come on, Bon. It's me." She pressed. I pushed her hand off of my arm. The blonde looked offended.

"Don't. Touch. Me." I emphasized.

"Stop being such a freak. Is Stefan here?" She brushed off my request and I knew I was fuming.

"No, I don't know where my fucking ex-boyfriend is. Can you go now?" I growled, through clenched teeth. I was too angry to breakdown now.

"Ex? When did that happen? He was completely devoted to you." She kept pushing, taken aback. I never had any issues with Lexi before, but in her eyes, Stefan could do no wrong.

"Two years ago. I don't know where you've been. I don't know or care where he is. Damon caught him putting his hands on me and Stefan got arrested. He made bail and he skipped town. You need to go. You're the last person I want to see right now." I hissed. She gaped at me and Derek rubbed my shoulder. I relaxed a little.

"Bonnie, I'm sorry. I didn't –"

"She asked you to go. You haven't respected any of her wishes, until now. You didn't listen to her until she shared more than she needed to. Leave." Derek told her. She opened her mouth to argue, but Damon walked over to us.

"Lexi, you know, I never liked you. The last thing I'm going to do is let you harass Bonnie. If you have questions about my idiot brother, then you can ask me. But you're going to leave her alone. Got it?" His voice was dangerously low and left no room for argument.

"Is that a threat?" She asked, her voice cracking.

"Yes and I'd do a lot worse than just threaten you, if it meant protecting Bonnie's welfare."

"Sounds like you finally got your brother's girl, huh? You always were panting after her." Lexi jibed. My hand flew towards her and I heard the slap, before I felt it.

"It's not like that. Fuck off, Lexi." I seethed. Damon took her by the arm and escorted her out.

I know that Damon hadn't heard all of the exchange, but I'm sure he saw Derek defending me. I'm sure he just gained his approval.

I was shaking and I knew that if I didn't reign it in, I would be a crying mess soon.

"Can I hug you?" Derek asked me in a quiet voice. I nodded and felt his arms wrap around me. I sniffled and fought hard to keep my tears under control. "It's okay to lose it, if you need to. You were damn impressive." He added.

The tears flowed, almost on command. I knew that I was soaking his shirt, but I couldn't stop. After a few minutes, I got myself under control and pulled away from him. I grabbed some napkins near my drink on the bar and wiped my face, praying it wasn't an awful mess.

"Let's go to the bathroom, Bonnie." Jenna suggested. I nodded and followed her, after giving Derek an apologetic look. She waited in the bathroom with me, while I washed the makeup off of my face. I looked splotchy and exhausted, but I looked like me, again. "You still look beautiful." Jenna promised, before pulling me into a tight hug. I was working on getting more comfortable with physical affection. Slowly, but surely.

We left the bathroom and found 'Ric and Damon talking to Derek. Derek gave me a warm smile, when we made eye contact. I gave him a small one in return. Damon looked worried, but visibly calmed down, once he saw me.

"Are you okay, little bird?" Damon asked me, using the pet name he normally reserved for the two of us. Stefan always got irrationally jealous, when he heard it. I nodded. "Do you need ice for your hand? You did something that I've wanted to do for __**years**. You're such a badass." He smirked.

"I don't need ice." I shook my head, laughing. "Derek, I'm really sorry for crying all over your shirt. Please let me buy you a drink." I apologized.

"It's not the worst thing that's happen to me. My shirt is black. You can't even tell. You can cry on me anytime. Why don't you let me buy the drinks tonight and you can buy next time?" He offered.

"Next time?" I echoed.

"If you want. I would like to see you again."

"Yeah, okay," I agreed, far from eloquently.

* * *

The rest of the night passed without incident. Derek was surprisingly easy to talk to. He'd already seen me cry and lost my shit. That alleviated a lot of the pressure.

Scott introduced me to Allison. I apologized to Stiles. I met more of Scott's friends and Lydia's boyfriend. We danced more and exchanged numbers, before finally heading home and calling it a night.

* * *

I laid next to Damon, quietly. Neither of us were sleeping. I missed Katherine. It felt like our little family wasn't whole, while she was away.

"I'm proud of you. You were fierce tonight." Damon whispered.

"I didn't feel fierce. I still feel weak." I sighed.

"You got out of your comfort-zone. You danced with people you didn't know. You went to a club. You stood up for yourself. I'm fucking proud of you and you should be proud, too. You kicked ass tonight, Bon." He wouldn't let me discredit myself and I loved him for it.

"I love you." I said, instead of acknowledging the truth in his words.

"And I love you, but you know that I'm right. Let's try to sleep, so we can pick Kat up from the airport in the morning. She's gonna be pissed, when she hears how much she missed."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two:

* * *

We should have a bonfire. It'll be cooler next week. It'll be less nerve-racking than a club for you. And that way, I can meet them, too." Katherine suggested, after she got over missing out on all the fun.

"I'll text Scott and Derek. Why don't you ask 'Ric, Caroline, and Jeremy?" I offered. Caroline would ask Matt and 'Ric would ask Jenna.

"Done." She replied, smiling.

* * *

Surprisingly, everyone was available on such short notice. We got stuff to make s'mores and Jell-O shots. Everyone was in charge of bringing their booze of choice. We had things to grill out and some snack food.

I was nervous, but getting things ready was helping me stay distracted. We had a bangin' playlist and plenty of chairs and firewood. I took my anti-anxiety meds and let Katherine dress me.

I ended up in black leggings, a tight grey long-sleeved thermal, and black low-tops. I was comfortable and that did loads to calm my nerves. I had on dark winged linger, a mauve matte lip, and a little blush. I left my hair down in loose waves.

"You look great, girl." Katherine smirked as she saw the finished product.

"Yeah?" I asked, nervously.

"I wouldn't lie to you, Bon." She promised.

* * *

"Bonnie! Hey!" Scott greeted me, when I saw him. I grinned and hugged him. Allison gave me a small wave that I returned with a smile.

"Thanks for inviting us. I don't have a ton of friends in Virginia and you seem really nice. Plus, Scott is always gushing about you. Lydia and Derek keep talking about how tough you were at the club. I'm sad I missed it. I'm not sure I've ever seen Stiles speechless." Allison told me. It took me a minute to realize that she was talking about when I called Stiles out for being rude.

"I'm happy you're here, too. My social circle in pretty small. Scott is great guy, so you're definitely in good company." I gushed. Scott smiled and mouthed a silent thank you.

"So, I heard there were Jell-O shots. What are we waiting for?" Scott asked us, before leading the way to the alcohol.

* * *

We took a couple of shots before settling in around the bonfire. I turned around, as I heard someone call my name. I stood up, when I saw Derek.

"Hey," I breathed. He held offered me his hand. I accepted it, before he pulled me into a hug. I resisted the urge to bury my face in his chest.

We've been texting, since we met at the club that night. He tucked my hair behind my ear, before stepping back from our embrace.

"I'm thankful for the excuse to see you." He admitted. I blushed, grateful that it out here.

"Back at you," I replied. He gave my hand a little squeeze, before letting it go.

"When I told you that I wanted to see you again, I meant it as a date." He clarified.

"I know." I nodded, still blushing. "You want a drink?"

* * *

Scott's friend, Erica, talking everyone into playing _Never Have I Ever_. Needless to say, I doubted that the bulk of us would stay sober for very long. Damon and 'Ric were manning the grill, so they weren't participating.

"Never have I ever had a threesome." Erica announced, pointedly, to her boyfriend. Boyd just sighed and looked at the Jell-O shot in his hand.

"I don't want to share you. You can't hold it against me forever." He teased her. She just rolled her eyes.

"You're such a prude. You know I'll get my way, eventually." She told him, completely unfazed. I cursed under my breath and took my shot. I looked around and saw Peter, Damon, Katherine, Danny, Lydia, and Jenna taking their shots, too.

Katherine looked like she wanted to ask me about it, but I shook my head swiftly. I prayed for tamer questions.

The threesome I had with Stefan wasn't exactly by choice. He got off on having power over me and my humiliation. It's not something I like to think about.

"Never have I ever dated someone for longer than a year." Cora said. I took another shot, this time, so did Derek. I didn't look to see who else did.

"Never have I ever slapped someone in a club." Stiles voiced, looking over at me, grinning. I laughed and took a shot with most of the girls. I bit my lip, as they all looked at me. Shit. It's my turn.

"Never have I ever been in love." I told them. Almost everyone else took a shot.

After that round, I switched to water. I relaxed on the blanket that I spread out. My legs hurt from being tucked underneath me in the lawn-chair for too long. Derek, Kat and Jenna joined me. I leaned against Derek, as Jenna and Kat chatted animatedly next to us.

* * *

"You know, I think you might be tougher than me." Derek admitted, as we finished eating out burgers. I still had a nice buzz going from the drinking game.

"I doubt that. I get the feeling that you've survived a lot." I said, shaking my head. The way that Derek looked at me, the way he touched me, the way he treated me… I was so out of my element. I didn't know how to accept kindness in this instance. "You terrify me. This terrifies me." I blurted out.

"Because of Damon's brother?" He guessed. I only nodded. "This – everything is at your pace. Nothing has to happen. You don't even have to see me, if you don't want to. You have all the power here." He told me. My hands shook and I put them in my lap to hide it.

"I just… I _**want**_ to get to know you. To spend time with you with no pressure… I can handle that. They can be dates. The hand holding and hugging is fine. I just… I can't do more." I explained.

"That's fine with me. This is on your terms. I'm happy to just spend time with you." He promised. I nodded and took a sip of my water. What am I getting myself into? I'm so out of my depth.

* * *

"He really likes you, Bon." Care mused, as she helped us clean up. Derek was helping clean up. Derek was helping the others load things into their vehicles.

"I know… I like him, too. I just… This is a lot. I still have nightmares about Stefan. I still see him in my head, when I see my scars. Why would anyone want me, Care? I'm a poster girl for damaged goods." I answered, bitterly.

"Why wouldn't anyone want you? Just take it slow. If you're low, then tell someone. You've already made so much progress. You have to keep working at it. You're more than a victim. You're still you. You're a fucking fighter." Care reminded me.

"You're right. I love you." I gave her a squeeze. Hugging still made me uncomfortable, but the benefits outweighed my uneasiness. It helped me feel grounded.

"Bonnie, I wanted to say goodnight." Derek told me, as he came walking up to us.

"I'll go find Matt. It was nice to meet you." Caroline told him, brightly.

"I'm glad you came." I said, lamely.

"So am I. Do you want to get lunch, Monday?" He asked me.

"Can we do dinner? My lunch breaks aren't long at school." I countered.

"Of course," he agreed. He hugged me and I relaxed in his embrace.

"It's a date."

* * *

_'And I wanna let you know that I'm so afraid…  
_ _To let you sink into me like a rattlesnake.  
_ _Lord, save me now.'_

* * *

'_Good morning, gorgeous. Have a great day. *sunshine smiley emoji*  
__-Derek'_

I smiled as I read the text on my phone and texted him back. I wore a yellow pastel sundress to school with a light grey cardigan. I woke up happy this morning and I wanted my clothes to reflect that. I knew my students would appreciate it.

* * *

"Good morning, Miss Bennett. You look lovely this morning." Mr. Argent told me, as I walked into the building. I blushed and gave him a small smile. He looks more intimidated than he actually is. He's a big hit with the students and a great principal.

"Thank you, Mr. Argent." I replied, sincerely.

"How have you been? I feel like we haven't spoken in ages." He inquired. He was right, but I don't socialize much at school. Children are easier than adults.

"I… I've been doing better. Still have hard days, but it feels like I'm making progress." I admitted. Chris beamed at me.

"I'm proud of you and I'm happy to hear that. Your students love you and the parents rave about you. You're a real asset to us here. I'm glad that you're taking care of yourself, Bonnie." He told me, softly.

"That… that means a lot. I love it here. The kids are my joy. Teaching them makes me happy." I assured him, before getting to class.

* * *

"Miss Bennett!" My littles came running up to me and swarmed me with hugs. I laughed and greeted my little ones. This is what I live for.

When I'm with them, my heart feels so full. I get to mold young minds and help shape them into good people. How special is that? I want my kids to be smart, but above all, I want them to kind and compassionate.

* * *

I looked up from where I was sitting on the ground. We were sitting in a big circle for story time. I looked over at the classroom door, where Chris had knocked. My jaw dropped, when I noticed Derek was with him and that he was holding a vase full of flowers.

"Miss Bonnie, I'm sorry to interrupt, but you have a visitor." Chris announced, sheepishly. I blushed and set down the book we were reading, '_The Creepy Pair of Underwear!'_ by Aaron Reynolds.

"Who is that?" A little voice murmured. I gave Jessica, a sweet redheaded girl, a smile.

"That's my friend, Derek. Class, can we tell him hello? Maybe Mr. Chris can read the story for a minute? What do you think?" I asked them. They cheered in response. Chris walked over to us, laughing. He offered me his hand and helped me to my feet. I handed him the book and he settled down with the kiddos.

I walked over to Derek and noticed that he looked nervous. He gave me a smile, before handing me the flowers.

"Caroline hinted that bringing you flowers at work would be a nice surprise." He confessed. I smelled the tulips, before setting them on my desk.

"They're beautiful. I love them… I can't remember the last time someone brought me flowers. Thank you." I told him, softly.

"I didn't realize that you taught at Chris' school. He's Allison's dad. Small world." He explained. "He's good friends with Peter. We were happy for him, when Allison finally moved here, after spending the last couple of years traveling abroad."

"Are we still on for tonight?" I asked him. He nodded and grabbed my hand.

"I wouldn't miss it."

"Me either. Come on. I'll walk you out." I led him to the door and stepped into the hallway. I stood on my tiptoes and hugged him. He returned it and wrapped his arms around me, snuggly. I leaned up a little higher and pressed a soft kiss on his cheek. "I love the flowers. You're a breath of fresh air in the best way. I better get back to my littles, or they'll never let Chris leave. They adore him."

"I'll see you tonight." He said with a smile. He gave me another squeeze, before letting me go.

Maybe this whole dating thing won't be so bad, after all.

* * *

Chris was not-so-subtly waiting to talk with me, after the last of my students went home.

"I didn't realize that you knew Derek or that you were the Bonnie who befriended my daughter. She told me how grateful she was for her new friends. Thank you, for that. Derek is a good guy, definitely more trustworthy than Peter." Chris explained.

"Allison is great. Scott and his friends seem like good people. I haven't known Derek long." I admitted.

"Like you said, they're good people." He assured me with a friendly smile. He looked like he wanted to say more, but refrained.

"I better go. I'm meeting Derek for dinner." I excused myself.

"Of course. Have fun."

* * *

I didn't know how I felt about going to dinner. I was nervous and excited. I stopped home and let Katherine touch up my makeup. Damon made me a playlist on Spotify to help hype myself up. Caroline has been texting me all day letting me know that I was a boss bitch and that dinner would be great.

I was grateful for them. And I was as ready as I'd ever be.

* * *

I spotted Derek immediately, when I walked into the restaurant. He smiled and stood up, when he noticed my arrival. I gave him a nervous grin in return. I walked over to his table and he held his arms open for a hug.

It's getting easier to relax into Derek's embrace. I leaned into him and wrapped my arms around his middle. I relaxed against him and rested my head against his chest, as his arms went around me. I inhaled the scent that was purely Derek and I knew that I cared for him, more than I wanted to admit to myself.

"It's great to see you, Bonnie." He told me, as I pulled away from our embrace.

"It's great to see you, too. Thank you, again, for the flowers." I replied with an easy smile. Derek grinned at me and pulled my chair out for me.

"It's still hard to picture Chris as a principal at an elementary school." He admitted. I laughed and nodded in agreement. If I hadn't seen Chris around kids, it'd be hard for me to picture it, too.

"He's great, though. The kiddos love him. My littles lose their minds, when he visits my class."

"They seemed to earlier." He agreed with a smile. "I hope I didn't cross any boundaries earlier." He apologized. I looked at him in surprise.

"No, not at all. Bringing the flowers to work wasn't invasive." I assured him.

"Making you uncomfortable is the last thing I want to do."

"I… You don't. You really don't. This is definitely out of my comfort-zone. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous around you or a little intimidated… But that's not on you." I explained. His face was impossible to read.

"What intimidates you?" He pressed, sounding thoughtful.

"Being on a date… Giving somebody the possibility to get close to me… Getting hurt again… All of those things. I just feel really exposed. There's nowhere to hide." I tried to articulate how I was feeling.

"Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable? I hope you know that I would never intentionally hurt you."

"I – Just what you're doing. You know – being patient, being upfront and honest. I'm enjoying getting to know you." I expressed.

"I can do that." He assured me, as our waited approached our table.

* * *

Making small talk wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. It's the deeper stuff that I have trouble with. There's so much we haven't talked about. There's so much that has yet to come up.

The more time I spend with Derek, the more I care for him. I'm terrified that after all this, he'll break my heart.

* * *

"Can I walk you to your car?" Derek offered, as we stood up to leave the restaurant.

"I'd like that." I responded. He offered me his hand and I slipped mine gingerly into his. We walked to my car and I reveled in the fact that I felt so comfortable with him. "Um, do you want to do this again, sometime?" I asked him, shocking myself.

"I'd love to. I can't imagine not wanting to spend time with you, though." He admitted. I bit my lip, unsure of how to respond to that.

* * *

Nothing about Derek was anything like Stefan or what I was used to. Part of me thinks that he's the change of pace that I needed. It feels surreal. I don't feel like myself in some ways, but in other ways, I feel more like myself that I have in ages.

I was pushing myself out of my comfort-zone. I was taking chances, like I used to, before I together with Stefan. I didn't feel like the same person I was. I knew that I Wasn't the same woman I used to be, but I was working on reconnecting with her.

I needed to be brave. I know in my mind, that I'm strong and capable. Logically, I know that I'm a survivor. I've survived so much. I just had such a hard time actually believing it.

I know that I was a work in progress. And Damn if that wasn't the understatement of the century. I'm a train-wreck on a good day.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three:

* * *

"Hey Bonnie," Scott greeted me, cheerfully. He waved with a grin. I smiled back and walked over to him. He was hosting a movie night and I was a sucker for 90's movies. "It's great to see you."

"It's good to see you, too. You know, I'm really glad that we met for coffee that day. We've become fast friends." I told him.

"Definitely. I don't think I've made a friend that easily, since Stiles."

"Do you need any help with setting things up?" I offered.

"Yeah, actually that would be great. Allison is finishing some appetizers with her dad in the kitchen. I hope it's not weird for you that he's been here. They're close and we all get along. He's good friends with Derek's uncle, Peter, and my mom." He explained.

"Not at all. Chris is great. He's the best boss a girl could ask for." I assured him. I was nervous, truth be told. It was weird to see my boss outside of work, but I wanted to trust Scott.

"Careful sweetheart. If Christopher hears that, it'll go straight to his ego." Peter teased. I rolled my eyes and suppressed a smirk.

"On most days, I prefer Chris' company to yours, Peter." Derek deadpanned. I laughed.

"Rude nephew, that hurts." Peter teased. Derek didn't look fazed.

"You'll live." Derek shrugged, as a small smirk played on his lips. He turned his attention to me and pulled me into a hug. I relaxed against him and melted into his embrace. I leaned up and touched my lips to his. He kissed me back and I tried not to dwell on the fact that this was such a big deal for me. "I missed you." He said, as he pulled away, keeping the kiss chaste.

"I missed you, too." I breathed. He cupped the side of my face in his hand and my heart dropped. I wasn't expecting the intimacy I feel with him. He makes me feel things that I wasn't sure I could feel anymore… Derek makes me feel things that I'm not sure I've ever felt before.

Derek touches me like I'm something precious. He treats me like I'm something precious. He treats me like I'm special and that if he's too rough with me, I might break. Stefan reveled in discovering just all the ways that he could break me.

My nose burned and I felt tears beginning to well in my eyes. I took a deep breath and blinked them away. I wasn't going to give into the waterworks right now. I bit my lip and shook my head, before giving Derek a forced smile.

"How are you even real?" I whispered. Concern flashed across his face. He reads me better than I would like.

"Do you want to get some air?" Derek asked me. I nodded. He took my hand and led me outside.

* * *

'_You can rip my sheets, but don't rip my heart.  
__Fragile inside, but the odds aren't hard.  
__Paint myself twice just to hide these scars,  
_'_Cause I need it.  
__Yeah, I need it.'_

* * *

He sat down on the back porch and I settled down next to him. He put an arm around me and leaned against him and rested my head on his shoulder.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, quietly. I gnawed at my bottom lip.

"No, but I want to honestly try this with you, then I should." I replied, honestly. "I… I don't know how logical it is and I still don't understand all of my triggers. And I really will understand if this gets to be, too heavy for you. I'm a mess. I… The way you treat me, the way you touch me… You're _**so fucking gentle**_. I'm not used to that. I – I'm still learning how to handle that. You treat me like I'm fragile. When you touch me, I feel like I'm something precious to you. You touch me, like you would never hurt me. Stefan used to get off on seeing how many times I could break and how much he could hurt me. I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. I don't feel like I deserve it. There's an intimacy with you that I've never felt before and it scares me." I admitted.

"Thank you, for telling me, for being so honest with me… If you ever need to talk about triggers, you can. Everyone is fragile to some extent, Bonnie. I – I never want to hurt you. People shouldn't hurt others for the sake of hurting them or because they can. You are something to be cherished. You're _**someone**_. _**You matter**_. I'm not looking for an out with you. I care about you. I'm in this. I want you in my life, for as long as you want to be in it. Let me show you what it's supposed to be like."

"Show me?" I echoed.

"Do you really want to do this? To be with me?" He asked, instead. I nodded, not trusting my voice. "Does that officially make me your man?"

"Do you want to be?" I couldn't keep the surprise out of my voice.

"I want everything with you, Bonnie. Most of all, I want to cherish you. I want to show you what it's like when someone cares for the right way." He confessed. I didn't try to stop the tears from falling this time. I swiped at my cheeks and tried to process the gravity of his words sink in.

"You really mean that… Your sincerity, that's part of what scares me. You scare me. This scares me, but I still want it. I still _**want**_ to be with __**you**. I wanna try a relationship with you, I just need things to stay slow. Shit. I hate crying." I kept wiping at my face, as my voice cracked.

Derek picked me up and settled me onto his lap. He used his thumbs to wipe away my tears, as I straddled him. He peppered my face with kisses, as my tears slowed. I blinked away the tears and peered into Derek's eyes. His gaze is just like everything else about him, sincere and intense. I can't help wanting more.

"I'm going to kiss you, baby." He breathed, giving me enough warning to stop him, if I wanted to.

"Please," I uttered. I groaned as his lips pressed against mine. I put my hands on his shoulders and clung to him. Our lips moved in tandem. I pressed myself closer to him as he deepened the kiss. I parted my lips, as he licked into my mouth. My body felt ignited. It felt like I was coming back to life.

He gripped my hip with his hand and stilled my movements. I hadn't realized that I was rocking my hips against his. I moved my mouth away and sucked in greedy mouthfuls of air, as he continued his ministrations along my neck. Gasps fell from my lips.

"St-stop," I moaned. Derek stilled immediately. I leaned against him, as we both struggled to catch our breath.

"I'm sorry." Derek apologized.

"It's okay. We're just not alone, not really and I'm not ready to go further than that." I told him. He nodded, accepting my answer.

"Should we head inside?" Derek offered. I nodded.

"I think so… boyfriend." I agreed. He gave me a smile that made my stomach melt into a puddle of goo. He stood up and kept me in his arms, before carrying me inside.

"Oh! Does this mean you're official?" Erica asked, seeing Derek holding me.

"Yes," he replied.

"It's about time." Scott teased, lightheartedly.

* * *

The movie night was nice and went off without a hitch. Everyone was in good spirits. I had more fun than I had in a long time.

When I went home that night, it felt like I was walking on air.

* * *

"Okay, little bird, spill. What's going on with you?" Damon asked me, as he dropped his body onto my bed.

"What's going on with what?" I countered.

"You and Eyebrows," he replied, as he wiggled his. I just laughed.

"We're dating, D." I said, with a blush.

"So, it's official?" He pressed. We've only been together, officially, a week.

"He's my boyfriend." I confirmed, nodding.

"You know, I hate how much my brother hurt you… I hate what you had to endure. I wish I had known sooner… That I had stopped him sooner, but I will always be thankful that I gained a little sister from it. My brother is a piece of trash, Bonnie. I love him, but I hate him. I can live without having Stefan in my life, Bon, but I can't live without you. You're my family."

I threw my arms around him and squeezed him tight.

"I love you, Damon. You're my family, too, you and Katherine both. You're everything and more than I could ever want in a brother." I promised. I sniffled, trying to keep my tears at bay.

"Hey, none of that. We're celebrating your healing, remember? Now, tell me about Derek. I want to hear all the details. I need to make sure he's good enough for one of my best girls."

* * *

I jumped, as someone knocked on my open classroom door. I put my hand to my chest and looked over to see Chris with an apologetic look on his face.

"I'm sorry, Bonnie. I didn't intend to scare you." Chris apologized.

"It's not your fault that I scare easily." I brushed off his apology, silently thankful that it was Chris and not Stefan. I don't know why I'm still terrified that he'll show up and wreak havoc on my life. He's been gone for so long… I think part of me will always be afraid.

"I wanted to see if you were free this evening and if you'd like to chat over coffee. I wanted to see how you were doing and ask if you might be up for helping me throw Alison a surprise birthday party." He explained. I nodded, apprehensively.

"Yeah, sure. Let me just grab my things."

* * *

"I would have asked Scott, but the poor boy can't keep a secret to save his life. Derek suggested that I ask you and Lydia." Chris explained. I nodded. Truthfully, I don't know Allison that well, but we've been getting closer. She's easy to talk to. She and Scott both are.

A lot of Scott's friends are easy to be around. Erica reminds me a lot of Katherine. Boyd is quiet, but helps balance things out. Stiles has definitely grown on me. I have a feeling that Peter and Damon are going to hit it off – they're both too sassy for their own good. Isaac is nice. I feel like once we actually have a legitimate conversation, we'll have a lot in common.

"I can't promise to know what she likes. We're still getting to know each other, but I would love to help. I'd have to talk to Damon and Katherine, bit we could always throw it at the boarding house. We have plenty of room and she wouldn't expect it." I offered.

"That would be great. I really appreciate you doing this. Allison hasn't always made friends easily. She always has positive things to say about you. She loved Lydia and has gotten closer to Isaac, but she's told me how comfortable she is around you. It's just reassuring to know that a strong woman who is such a positive influence has befriended my daughter." He admitted.

I let his words sink in. I didn't know what to say to that. Does he really think that I'm strong and a good influence?

"I… You really see me that way?" I breathed.

"We all do." He replied. His eyes are sincere and kind. Chris is someone who has been hardened by the world. I know him enough to know that he's had a difficult life, but he's never been dishonest.

"Allison is great. She's always been accepting and has always made an effort to actually be a friend. You know? She's a great human. You should be proud." I said, instead.

"I am. I'm proud of you, both. How are you doing?" He pressed.

"I'm better than I was… It's weird. Ya know? I'm trying to get back to who I used to be before… but I'm not sure I remember who that was. Dating is so weird. I don't know what I'm doing. I feel awkward with a lot of things and out of place with people. I don't understand my appeal. Derek has been amazing. He shows me that he's sincere and that he cares. I just don't understand it? I know it'll take time. I'm working on it. I just… Stefan is my only real experience with that. It's the only thing I have to compare it to. It was awful, but I knew what to expect. And I'm oversharing. Shit. I'm sorry." I babbled. I sipped my coffee, awkwardly.

"You don't have to apologize. It's great that you're open about what you're feeling. I won't pretend to understand what you're doing through, but I empathize. I'm sure it's not easy. My father was abusive. It's not the same, but it takes a lot of work to deal with. It's hard to trust people, after you've endured something like that."

Once again, I was surprised by Chris. He's never what I expect, in the best way possible.

"That makes a lot of sense." I agreed.

"If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here." He offered.

"That means a lot. Thank you, Chris."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four:

* * *

After I had coffee with Chris, I started talking with him a lot more. We didn't just talk about Allison and her upcoming party. It was surprisingly easy to talk with him.

* * *

"Thank you, again for hosting the party. I know that Ally will love it." Chris thanked Damon and Katherine, again. Katherine, Caroline, Lydia, and Erica were thrilled to be a part of the party planning process. Isaac felt bad about deceiving her. Stiles made sure to tell Scott about the movie/game night here, at the boarding house, to get them here. Scott didn't know about the party. Homeboy means well, but we didn't want him to accidentally spoil the surprise.

"We're happy to help." Damon assured him, as he handed Chris a bourbon on the rocks.

"Really, any excuse to throw a party and any friends of Bon Bon's are friends of ours." Katherine added. She gave me a squeeze and left to finish some last minute touches.

Everything looks extravagant – there are tons of flowers and candles everywhere. There are some gifts and tons of geeks pop-culture touches that I'm sure Allison will love. Stiles had gotten a life-sized cardboard cutout of Scott, so we could play "Pin the Tail on the Boyfriend." There are Nerf guns and Nerf bows and arrows, not to mention tons of Jell-O shots. We went big. I just hope she likes it.

Derek hugged me from behind, as someone knocked on the door. Almost everyone had a balloon to toss in the air with the surprise cheer. I took a deep breath and gestured for everyone to get down, before I answered the door.

I opened the door and Derek stood next to me to block the view of everyone in the other room.

"Hey Bon! We brought wine! Thanks so much for inviting us. A game night sounds perfect right now. It's my birthday tomorrow and it always goes wrong. Tonight is a great distraction. Allison gushed. I forced a smile and nodded.

"Of course. You're always welcome here, love-bug." I promised.

"Stiles and Isaac are waiting for us in the living room." Derek told them.

"Awesome. Thanks man," Scott said with a grin.

We led them to the living room. The light flipped on and everyone yelled surprise, as they tossed their balloons in the air. Allison and Scott froze. Chris looked as nervous as I felt.

"Bonnie, did you do all this?" Allison asked me. Her eyes were watering and her face was impossible to read. I could only nod.

"I had help… It was your dad's idea. The girls and Stiles were clutch with getting everything ready in time." I explained. I staggered backwards, as she threw her arms around me.

"It's the nicest thing that anyone's ever done for me!" She squealed. She pulled away with a giant grin.

"You don't hate it?"

"I love it. Thank you!" She gushed, before pressing a quick kiss on my cheek. I let out a breath of relief.

"You're welcome, Ally." I smiled as she and Scott left to check out the party. I could hear Scott giving Stiles a hard time for not telling him. He was insisting that he could keep a secret. No one believed him.

I turned to face Derek and he beamed at me. He wrapped his arms around me and gave me a gentle squeeze.

"I'm proud of you. This was out of your comfort-zone and you did it anyway to help Allison and Chris. You're pretty amazing." Derek praised me. I bit my lip and looked at the floor.

"I had help." I shrugged.

"Hey," he said, as he tilted my chin, so I had to look up at him. You are amazing. One day you're going to believe it, too." He swore. I didn't say anything else. What do you say to that? "Can I kiss you?" He asked, instead. I nodded.

He pressed his lips to mine and I stood on my tiptoes to reciprocate the kiss easier. God, this man is perfect.

"You guys are seriously the cutest couple. Don't worry, Bon, I'll text you the picture. Now, turn around and smile. You don't have like any pictures together." Caroline demanded.

We obliged and posed for pictures. Caroline snapped more than a few, before pocketing her phone.

"When are you going to become Facebook official? Inquiring minds want to know." She asked.

"Whenever Bonnie is ready." Derek replied.

"I'm posting the pictures and tagging you both. Okay, Bon? You should become official before then." Caroline told us. I just nodded, internally cursing at one of my best friends. She means well and this probably needs to happen… I just don't appreciate her forcing my hand.

"It's not that I don't want to… I was just nervous. Care's right. We should." I relented.

"Are you sure? I don't mind waiting. I know that we're together and our friends know. That's enough." He pressed. I turned to face him.

"I'm sure. I care about you. I'm okay with the world knowing it." I promised. He grinned at me and it was impossible not to smile back.

"Awe!" Caroline squealed. I knew that she was probably taking more pictures, but I didn't care. I leaned up to kiss him and enjoyed the moment.

* * *

_'Ruin my lipstick. Ruin my bed.  
_ _Ruin the hair upon my head,  
_ _But don't you ever  
_ _Ruin my mascara.'_

* * *

We made our relationship Facebook official, as Caroline sent us all of the pictures she had taken. I picked my favorite – the one that showed me looking up at Derek, he was gazing down at me, and we were both beaming at each other. It looks so pure and intimate.

I can't remember the last time I looked so happy. I used it as my new profile picture and tagged Derek in it.

Derek chose a picture of him hugging me from behind that Caroline must have gotten earlier. We both have soft smiles and the look Derek is giving me is of complete adoration.

God, I'm falling in love with him… I looked up in surprise and Care gave me a knowing smirk, like she knew well before I did. Whoa… I know I'm not going to tell Derek yet, but it definitely took me by surprise.

My phone pinged and it was an alert telling me that Derek Hale was in a relationship with me. I confirmed it and put my phone away. It was nerve-racking and exciting at the same time.

Caroline kept fiddling on her phone and I knew that she was posting pictures of everyone and tagging us.

* * *

_'Ruin my body every night.  
_ _Ruin my dress and not my life.  
_ _But don't you ever ruin my mascara.  
_ _Oh.'_

* * *

"Bonnie, you guys are really official." Scott exclaimed, as he pulled me into a hug. He grinned as he pulled away. "I'm so happy for you! We get to be best buds. And you have Derek and I have Allison. How awesome is that? Thank God he's less grumpy around you, because before you started dating being grumpy was his only personality."

"Pretty awesome," Allison agreed as she topped on her phone. "You guys are hands down the cutest."

"I think so, too." Derek chimed in. I blushed and he just smiled and kissed my cheek. I ignored Allison take a picture.

"We're not expecting anyone else, are we?" Stiles asked, as someone knocked on the door. I shrugged.

"Happy birthday, Allison." I told her with a smile. "There are games in the backyard, so game night wasn't a total lie."

"Awesome. Let's go." She led the way outside.

* * *

I dodged a Nerf bullet, as Stiles called my name. I looked over and saw him opening the fence from the outside. He stepped into the backyard with Stefan. My stomach dropped, as my gun fell to the ground and I froze.

Everyone who has met him is inside. His hair is longer and his skin has a golden tan, but he otherwise looks the same. Why is he here? I noticed my body shaking.

"Bonnie, who is that?" Lydia asked me. I looked over at her and knew I must look terrified. She whipped out her phone and hopefully called the police.

"You can't be here. Why are you?!" I demanded, finding my voice.

"I've missed you, baby girl. Haven't you missed me?" He asked, stepping closer to me. My breath quickened and I felt like I was suffocating.

"I didn't miss you, Stefan. I've been trying to forget you." I panted, struggling to breath.

"Stiles, go get Damon and Chris." Derek growled. His hands were around my waist, holding me up, before I could process what was happening. "Breathe, Bonnie." He whispered. I nodded and focused on his voice.

"She's always been good at following orders." Stefan mused. I stiffened and forced myself to stand up and not just lean into Derek.

"Haven't you done enough?! I've spent years hating you and being afraid of you. I don't love you, Stefan. I never fucking have. I've never been in love with anyone, before Derek. You were terrible to me. My body is covered in scars, because of you. I can't even think about sex, without getting flashbacks from all the times you forced yourself on me. All you ever did was hurt me. You will never touch me again." I hissed, standing my ground. My voice wavered, but my words were clear.

"There's that fight, baby girl. I'm aching to beat it out of you. You always did have the perfect pussy… The perfect ass… The perfect mouth… The perfect everything. You were never submissive enough, so I would have to beat you down and force you. That was my favorite part. You might hate me, but _**I'll always love you**_." He sneered. Damon rushed outside and grabbed Stefan before he could flee.

We could hear the sirens loud and clear.

"I'd love to stay and chat, brother, but that's my cue." Stefan said with a smirk.

"I don't think so."

* * *

Stefan was arrested. According to Stefan's boasting and Liz, he apparently had a big wig attorney, but he had no defense that would get him out of prison. I sat with Derek for a little while, before returning to the party.

"Bonnie, it's okay if you can't be here right now." Allison promised.

"I don't want to miss your party. It hasn't hit me yet, you know? I can breakdown later. I'm where I wanna be. All the people I care about are here. Let's have fun."

* * *

Everyone was crowded around the bonfire. Jell-O shots were flowing. Some people were dancing. Miraculously, Stefan hadn't ruined the party.

"I didn't want to tell you like that or that soon." I told Derek, as I swallowed a shot.

"I know." He replied. I sighed, relieved.

"I do, you know? I love you. I just, can I maybe wait to tell you, when I'm ready?" I asked. He smiled and kissed me.

"I love you, too. We can wait to tell each other, when we're ready."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five:

* * *

I started going to therapy, again. It was helping. Stefan was going away for a long time, but there was still a lot that I needed to work through.

Apparently, his jealousy was what brought him back to Mystic Falls. He didn't like that I was dating someone else. Ironically, even though we had been keeping it under wraps, he found our through Facebook. We had been tagged at events together and he hired a private eye to find out for sure.

Derek and I hadn't regressed, not really. We were still going slowly. That hadn't changed. Derek knew how I felt about him and I knew how he felt about me. It was a relief that it hadn't changed after the ordeal with Stefan. I don't think I could have taken that. It would have crushed me.

* * *

"Bonnie! I thought that was! When I heard you were dating someone new, I couldn't believe it. It's just so hard for me to picture you with anyone else. Granted, the two of you are cute together. I saw it from your profile picture. It's so crazy that Stefan is in prison, huh? I really thought you were be together forever. He was obsessed with you. He was so surprised, when I told him that I ran into you at a club, of all places. I still had a number for him that I had forgotten about." Lexi exclaimed.

I sighed and kept walking through the store. I made a mental note to block her on all of my social media. Apparently, declining her friend requests hadn't been enough.

I grabbed the last of my groceries and headed for the checkout aisle. I could hear her following me, but I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of engaging with her. That's what she wanted.

"I just don't get it. Sure, you're beautiful, but what else did he ever see in you? You're pretty plain. I've _**always**_ loved him. You know. But he never carried a torch for me. You were always his soft spot. I never understood why." She huffed. I loaded my things onto the conveyer belt and the cashier looked at me with sympathy. I prayed that my interaction with her would end soon.

"Well, he's single now. There's nothing stopping you from being with him." I quipped. I was beyond frustrated. I have no patience for her excusing Stefan's abusive behavior or victim shaming me. "If you don't fucking leave me alone, I'm going to punch you in your throat. Back the fuck off, Lexi. If you bother me again, I'm going to file a restraining order."

I paid for my groceries and left as soon as possible.

* * *

"What are you doing, Bon?" Damon asked me. I shrugged, from where I was lying on the living room floor. I just wanted to feel. I feel so numb. "Did something happen?"

"I saw Lexi today at the store. She keeps showing up and it fucks with my head." I admitted.

"What do you need?" He questioned, as he walked over to me. I shrugged, again.

"I just want to fucking feel something."

"Go change into something you can sweat in. I have an idea."

* * *

"Derek?" I asked, as I came downstairs.

"Hey baby, Damon called me. He thought you might wanna come to the gym with me and go a few rounds with a punching bag." He explained.

"Yeah, okay," I agreed. I let him lead me out of the boarding house with his arm around me.

* * *

_'You got that thing that bring the devil out of me._  
_So if you're the master,_  
_I'm the masterpiece.  
_ _Lord, save me now.'_

* * *

We didn't talk in the car. I didn't have anything to say or know how to word it, if I did. He seemed to understand that, because he didn't push. The ride didn't take us long. He parked the car and I followed him into the building. I felt out of my element, but I was too out of it to feel anxious about being in an unfamiliar place.

"Do you know how to throw a punch?" He asked me, after setting his gym bag down. I gave him a curt nod. "Can you show me?" He inquired. I made a fist and gave the bag a halfhearted punch. "Okay, good. Next punch, I want you to visualize that the punching bag is Lexi." He instructed. I took a deep breath and hit the bag harder. "Good. Keep going. You can toss your hoodie on the bench, if you get too hot."

I took a deep breath and rolled my neck, before I started moving. I hit the punching bag and I couldn't stop. I kept going. At some point, I shed my hoodie, and my shirt. I was dripping with sweat.

"Let me get you a towel. Let's take a break." Derek said. I stilled my movements.

"Okay." I agreed. I toed off my shoes and pulled off the loose sweatpants I had on over a short pair of yoga shorts. I was putting my shoes back on, when he handed me a towel and a bottle of water. I mopped off my face with the towel, before draining the bottle.

"Do you want to keep going?" He asked me.

"Yeah, I do." I replied, standing up. He moved to hold the bag and I started hitting, again.

"You can knee the bag or kick, if you want to mix it up." He suggested. I nodded and did as he said. He kept coaching me through it. I was sweating buckets, but I didn't stop. I stopped trying to see Lexi and kept visualizing Stefan, as I went ham on the bag.

He can't hurt me anymore. He can't hurt me. The words echoed through my mind, as my mantra. For the first time in ages, I didn't feel weak and pathetic. I hiccuped as tears flooded down my face in full force. I kept moving, kept hitting. I kept going, until I couldn't see anymore, because I was crying so hard. I stopped and slumped against the bag. I brought my hands to my face and slid to the floor. I didn't have any more fight left in my body.

"Come here." Derek said, gently. My legs felt like jelly, but I forced myself to stand up. I grabbed my discarded towel and mopped off my face. I practically fell into his open arms. He wrapped his arms tightly around me and I shook against him.

God, I'm so tired of crying, but I can't stop. The tears came and I couldn't stop them. There were coming, whether I like it or not. He rubbed my back and kissed my temple.

* * *

_'And you take my breath_  
_And you won't let me breathe now._  
_Oh, but you like when I let it out.  
_ _Mm.'_

* * *

After time crawled by, and what felt like hours later, the tears finally slowed. He didn't let go of me or complain. I sniffled and wished that I was a stronger woman. I pulled away and cleaned myself up with a towel. He pulled off his shirt and I gave him an apologetic, watery smile.

"You can cry on me, anytime." He promised. I laughed and shook my head.

"I hate crying."

"Sometimes, you can't help it. Everyone has to cry, sometime." He shrugged. I nodded. His eyes swept over my body and I was reminded that I've never worn this little around him, before. I don't like my body being on display like this. It's definitely out of my comfort zone. "You have more tattoos than I do." He mused. I snickered with a bashful nod.

"They cover most of my scars." I admitted. He walked over to me and let his fingers trace my torso and the tops of my thighs. I'm practically in the middle of the gym in a sports bra and underwear. If I was with anyone else, I'd probably be freaking out.

"All of them?" He asked. I shook my head.

"A lot of them, but not all of them, no." I replied.

"Either way, they look good on you." He swore. I rolled my eyes.

"You're biased." I argued.

"You have a bangin' body, Bonnie." He persisted.

"That's my line, Der." I shook my head, as I focused on his body, instead.

"We can both have them. You know?" He teased. I sighed with a small grin.

"I feel better. Thank you." I told him.

"Anything for my girl," he promised. He leaned down and kissed me. His hands moved down my waist and pulled me closer to him. I groaned, as I felt his body against mine, without the clothes we normally have separating us. "Hot tub?" He suggested. I kissed him, instead of answering.

"I don't have a suit." I said, as I pulled away.

"We could skinny dip." He offered. I laughed and playfully hit his arm.

"I don't think everyone else would appreciate that." I argued.

"There's a hot tub at my apartment complex. Let's go get your suit."

* * *

After that, my going to the gym with Derek became a regular thing. I started taking kickboxing classes, and I really enjoyed it. It helped me feel powerful and it boosted my confidence. It also was one of the reasons that things started to speed up some with Derek. I wanted more, physically. I wanted him. How could I not?

* * *

"You've been quiet all night. Are you feeling okay?" Derek asked me. We were on my bed watching _Euphoria. _I nodded.

"I love you." The words were out of my mouth, before I could kick myself for not saying them with more finesse.

"I love you, too." He breathed. I bit my lip.

"I, um, I want to try to have sex. I haven't… not since Stefan. I just… I want to… with you."

"Are you sure?" Derek asked. His eyes were darker and I could tell that he wanted this as much as I did. We've been together for almost a year. I know that there isn't a right length of time to wait. He's been patient and understanding. I don't even know if I'll be able to handle this, without freaking out, but I want to try.

"I want to try. I just… I never thought I would ever be with someone like you, Derek. You're amazing. You push me to grow outside of my comfort zone. You help me feel strong and powerful. You introduced me into a way to help take my power back. It's hard not to want everything with you. I want you. I want everything with you." I confessed. He touched our foreheads together and stroked my sides with his hands.

"I want everything with you, too. You're the most incredible person I've ever met. I would marry you tomorrow, if I thought that we were ready for that. I can't imagine being with anyone but you. If you want to try this, then we will. Just say the word, if you start to get uncomfortable and we'll stop. This will always be at your pace. I promise that I want this with you, just as much as you do. I'll always want you."

* * *

I shed my shirt and my leggings. Derek groaned, when he saw me in next to nothing. He followed suit and dropped his shirt to the floor and undid his jeans. I sucked in a breath, when he stepped out of his pants. God, he's perfect.

"You're beautiful." He breathed. He put his hands on my waist and sank to his knees. He mouthed my chest and trailed wet kisses along my torso, before undoing my bra. I fought not to cover myself, when it fell to the floor. I felt so exposed.

His mouth kept me distracted. I can't remember the last time this felt so good. He makes me feel like nothing else in the world matters. I'm always his sole focus. I wish I felt like I deserved it.

"I'm so lucky." He groaned. His mouth kissed me through my underwear and I shivered. I could feel his tongue through the lace. I gasped and prayed that I could keep up with him. "Can I take these off?" He asked me, as he moved his tongue against me. I cried out and nodded. He peeled them off and I stood in front of him, stark naked. Before my anxiety could get the best of me, his tongue was massaging my heat.

"Fuck, Derek," I moaned. I placed my hands on his shoulders, to steady myself. His moved to the back of my thighs, for support. I threw my head back, as I came embarrassingly quick. I panted and looked down at him. He parted my legs and slipped a finger inside of me. I hissed at the feeling. It's been so long. He started to curl it and I couldn't look away. We locked eyes and it's one of the most intimate things I've ever experienced.

"Bed?" He suggested. I just nodded. He picked me up and leaned me back on my bed. He worked two fingers inside of me and I panted. My eyes fluttered closed as he moved his fingers just right. He added another finger and my breath hitched at the fullness. "Are you sure that you want to keep going?" He asked me, as he paused his ministrations.

"I'm sure, Derek. I want this." I promised. He nodded and began moving his hand, again. It was hard to keep still. I was rocking my hips against his hand and my body felt like it was on fire. He removed his hand and I slumped back against the bed.

He stood up and shed his boxer briefs and my heart thudded in my chest. I bit my lip as I looked at him and took in my body in all his glory. _**Fuck**_.

"You're incredible." I breathed. He smiled at me and crawled onto the bed with me.

"Have you seen yourself?" He asked. I didn't answer. "You're everything anyone could want and more. Your body is so sexy, Bonnie. Your scars don't take away from that. They show how strong you are. I want to worship you."

"Worship me," I echoed. He nodded. His hand moved to my hip and I became hyper aware of his movements. He took a condom from my bedside table and rolled it on.

"Can you ride me, baby?" He asked me. I bit my lip. That's something I really haven't done before. Stefan liked being in control. Having me be on top was never an option that I was allotted.

"I've never done that before." I whispered.

"Do you want me to help guide you?" He offed. I nodded. He moved next to me and sat against the headboard. I straddled him and took his length into my hand. I pushed myself down and hissed as I felt him fill me. He moved his hands to my hips and helped me get my momentum going. I rocked my hips and moved up and down. I put my hands on his shoulders for support. We got into a rhythm easily enough.

"I never knew it could feel like this." I gasped. I was in control and he wasn't trying to hurt me. This is what it's supposed to feel like.

"I wish you could see yourself. You're the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. You look incredible like this." He panted. I groaned. He moved a hand between us and started massaging me. I cried out and fought to keep my eyes open. I don't want to forget this moment. I want to remember everything about this. I don't want all of my memories about sex to be tainted.

"I'm not going to last." I breathed. He nodded with a snap of his hips. I leaned down and touched my lips to his. He kissed me back, hungrily. His tongue slid against mine and I shivered. My nails dug into his shoulders, as my back arched. I slammed into my release, as he moved his hips faster, until he followed behind me. I dropped my arms and rested my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me and held me, as we tried to catch our breath. "That was…" I couldn't even think of a word to describe it.

"Incredible," he replied. I nodded. "I love you."

"I love _**you**_. Thank you, for being so patient and for tonight."

"You don't have to thank me for that, baby.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a short epilogue after this! I'm not sure if there will be sporadic oneshots added to this or not, so make sure you follow the story, if you enjoyed it! I'm not going to promise anything. I'll mark this as finished, after I've posted chapter seven with the epilogue.

Chapter Six:

* * *

Things did change after that night together. It was becoming easier to be physical with Derek. It was a rush. It's something that I never thought I would get back. Now that we started sleeping together, it was getting harder and harder to keep my hands off of him.

"Jeez, get a room you two." Peter drawled, with a teasing wink. I blushed and buried my face in Derek's shoulder.

"You do realize that you're at my apartment. Don't you?" Derek reminded his uncle. Peter just rolled his eyes. We had been kissing, but our hands were mostly kept to ourselves.

"Being your uncle gives me the right to tease you, nephew." Peter reminded him. Derek just huffed. I laughed, hoping that my face wouldn't be red all night.

* * *

I groaned, as I woke up to a mouth sucking on my neck. I squirmed, as I heard Derek chuckle. I opened my eyes and noticed a very naked Derek lying next to me. I sighed in contentment.

"A girl could get used to this." I breathed, as his hands traveled down my body.

"Anytime you want to stay over, I definitely wouldn't complain." He told me. He groaned, when he felt how wet I was. "We have an hour, before we need to get up and get ready for work." He reminded me. I nodded and rolled onto my back. "We have to stay quiet. I'm pretty sure Peter crashed on the couch. He drank half a bottle of bourbon by himself." He explained. I nodded, again. I watched him put the condom on.

I gasped, as he slid inside of me. I clamped my lips together as I moved my hands to Derek's backside. He kissed me and I moved my hips in time with his.

"Nephew, do you have any Advil?" Peter asked, as he opened Derek's bedroom door. I squeaked in embarrassment. Derek growled and still his movements. I wished that I fall into a hole somewhere, because anything would be less embarrassing than this.

"Get the fuck out, Peter." Derek hissed.

"Oh, I didn't think that I would be walking in on that. Hasn't anyone ever taught you how to lock a door?" Peter chastised, as he left the door and shut the door behind him.

"It's my apartment!" Derek yelled. I bit my lip and shook with laughter. Derek bit my shoulder, when he noticed me laughing. He gave a particularly hard thrust and I moaned, loudly. I glared at him and just gave me a sheepish smirk. I moved a hand to my mouth and licked my fingers, before moving my hand between us. His eyes followed my movements as I rubbed myself.

"I'm going through your things, until you're done having sex with your girlfriend!" Peter announced from outside the room. We both laughed.

"Bonnie," Derek whispered. I looked at him and shivered. He was giving me intense eyes that made me melt. "Are you close, baby?"

"Yes," I breathed.

"Come," he commanded. My back gave an involuntary spasm, as my back arched, and I came around him. "Fuck," he cursed, as he came with me.

"Next time, we can call Peter an Uber." I panted. Derek laughed, but agreed.

* * *

_'Ruin my lipstick. Ruin my bed._  
_Ruin the hair upon my head,_  
_But don't you ever  
_ _Ruin my mascara._

_Ruin my body, every night._  
_Ruin my dress and not my life,_  
_But don't you ever_  
_Ruin my mascara.  
_ _Ooh.'_

* * *

"So you and Derek are getting pretty serious, huh?" Chris asked me, as we said goodbye to the last students. I looked over at him and nodded.

"Yeah, they are."

"That's great. I'm happy for you both." He smiled. I grinned and gave him a hug.

"Thanks, Chris. You wanna grab a coffee? We haven't caught up in a while."

* * *

"Hey Bonnie," Allison greeted me, as I opened my front door. I looked at her in surprise.

"Hey Ally, did we have plans today?" I asked, confused.

"Uh, no, we didn't. Sorry to just show up like this out of the blue. But I was wondering if you'd like to come to lunch with me and Lydia? And maybe have a girls' day? I've been kind of down lately." She explained. Truthfully, I was only running out to get a matcha latte and didn't really have other plans today. I was already caught up on grading papers.

"Yeah, actually that sounds great." I told her.

We chatted aimlessly in the car. She caught me up on how her relationship is going with Scott and how happy she is. She's been really missing her mom, though, and that this time of year is hard for her. She's happy for her dad, who oddly enough has been dating Scott's mom.

The car came to a stop at the restaurant I met Derek at for our first date. I couldn't stop the smile from forming. We walked inside and Allison stopped next to me.

"I have to pee, but I'll meet you guys at the table. Can you order me a Coke?" She asked.

"Yeah, sure." I replied, as I looked around for Lydia. I didn't see her, but I did see Derek. The restaurant was empty, except for him and a few workers. The tables around him were ladened with tulips and sunflowers, favorites. "What's going on?" I asked him, as I walked over to him. He wiped his hands on his jeans and stood up. He took my hands into his and looked down at me.

"This is probably too fast, but we've always been pretty good about letting each other know where we're at in our relationship. I love you. You know how I feel about it. It's not a secret. I've told you before that I can't imagine my life without you in it. I don't have to consider another partner for me, Bonnie. You're it. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So, before I ask you this, I want you to know that you don't have to answer me right now. You can take your time. You can say no and things can stay as they are, until you're ready. Our relationship goes at your pace. That will never change. I just… I need to ask you and put this out there.

You're so incredible and it kills me that you don't completely see it. You're so strong and powerful. You've overcome so much and you're still such a kind, gentle person. You love so completely. You take care of everyone around you, even when it puts you out of your comfort zone. From the night that I met you, I knew that you were important. I just couldn't have fathomed how important to me you'd become." He explained. He let go of my hands and pulled out a little velvet box from his back pocket. He knelt down on one knee and opened it. My jaw dropped as I saw a ring nestled inside.

"You're asking me to marry you?" I breathed.

"I am." He confirmed. Tears blurred my vision and I sank to my knees in front of him. I wrapped my arms around him and touched my forehead to his.

"Of course, I'll marry you." I whispered. I blinked the tears out of my eyes and saw Derek beaming at me. He kissed me and pulled away enough to slip the ring onto my finger.

"You said yes!" I heard Allison and Scott exclaim. I turned to see them standing with Caroline, Damon, and Katherine. I laughed and saw Caroline taking pictures of the whole thing.

"I really love you, Derek Hale."

"I really love you, too, Bonnie Bennett."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is short and sweet. Hope you enjoyed it! Berek will always be one of my favorite crackships. Be sure to subscribe to this story. I'm not promising anything, but bonus chapters might show up, if I get inspired.
> 
> I DO NOT OWN TEEN WOLF, THE VAMPIRE DIARIES, OR THE CHARACTERS.  
Song Suggestion/Music Credit: "Mascara" – Niykee Heaton

Chapter Seven/Epilogue:

* * *

I tried to keep it together during our wedding day, but I failed miserably. I kept crying, despite my best effort. I was thanking the gods for waterproof makeup and setting spray.

Lydia videotaped it, so Derek and I could watch it later. We were lounging on the beach in Cancun. I felt so relaxed. I couldn't believe this was real and that this was my life. I never thought that I would be able to love anyone like this, again. I never thought that I would be able to come this far.

I can finally think about Stefan and not feel terrified. I'm not scared anymore. He doesn't have any power over me.

"What are you thinking about?" Derek asked me, as we sat with our legs in the water. I wiggled my toes in the sand.

"I'm thinking about you and how much I love you. And how far I've come. And how I'm not scared anymore." I told him with a grin. He beamed at me and kissed my nose.

"I'll never stop being proud of you. And I know that you'll never cease to amaze me, baby." He promised.

"Remember that." I told him.

"What?" He asked, as I pushed him in the water and took off running down the beach. I could hear him laughing, even over my giggles. I was off my feet and over his shoulder in no time. "Do you trust me?"

"Always," I breathed, before he dropped us both in the water. I stood up and splashed him. My heart felt full and light. For the first time in years, I didn't feel like the weight of the world was on my shoulder dragging me down. It was a delight. I stood up on my tiptoes and kissed him.

"I love you, wife."

"I love you, too, husband."


End file.
